A month later....

Nothing has changed... yet. I am still determined to leave my current school and I will keep trying... The more I think about it the more I realize that I do want to teach middle school. It is not something I like to talk about with coworkers, because every time I mention middle school to any of them they say it's soooo much worse. I think it is all about perception. I think elementary teachers cringe when you mention high school. I think certain teachers have more of a personality for certain schools ages. Middle school seems exciting to me. I am still trying to get over to the next county, but now I am considering trying to see if I can get a transfer to a decent middle school in my current county. The thing is I might have to get my current principal's permission, and I have no idea how that will go over with him. I will have to think of a tactful way to ask him. I am almost positive he will say no and then be furious that I want to leave or that I even asked. Technically I not been at the school for 3 years (so I am not allowed), but I know that if he signs a paper that I can or they may even be able to do it without his blessing.

I just do not think I want to teach high school right now... I know my blog is endless string of complaints and job hunting posts, but it's my blog and I will complain if I want to...

......

58 teaching days and counting.... that is all

I tried not to... I really did

I have this one kid on my class.. He is the biggest goofball. He comes to my class determined to pretty much do no work what so ever. For instance today he spent maybe 30 minutes or so drawing a confederate flag.. He is always cracking jokes and distracting other students. And normally this makes me very irritated. If this happens I either speak quietly with the student or give my best "you better get to work and stop doing that or I will I rip out your eyes" glare. But this kid makes me crack up every time I try to go in for that look. I just can not help it. I know I
should keep my composure , but I can not help it... Today he was VERY pleased with himself when I laughed at his antics.. I do not know what it is about this kid...

How offensive...

I spoke a couple of times about how I have been called a racist. Well every time it happens it offends me, but not only that I see how ignorant people truly are to their own behavior.

Confession.... I am engaged to a black man. I have been with him for 4 years. I am in love with him and I am marrying into his family. I will have his children. This is something I will never tell my students to defend myself, but it is always in the back of my mind when I receive comments like this.

I am not sure why that always has to be the first thing a black student or person runs to say if they feel there is injustice in how something was handled. Now I am definitely not saying that racism is not present in our society. I have seen it and heard ignorant comments made about several different races. I have even experienced it. However, it is time that everyone admits and sees that it is NOT ONE-SIDED!!!! The kind of behavior that I have seen should not be tolerated in the classroom (or anywhere) by a black, white, or any kind of a race.

What makes me sad though, is that I do not think anything will ever change.

update

To Tristan. Thank you for the offer, but it is really not just about the behavior and even the environment for me. The straw that broke the camel's back so to say was my realization of how administration perpetuates the problems and how little respect they have for the staff.

So my job search has not ended, I am still looking but now I am waiting for another science opening. I have decided that I will take it my portfolio up a notch. I will be making a DVD of some of the ongoings in my class (my best one of course). I have some ideas of what I want to show and how I want to edit it. I might put it on here for all of my 3 readers and password protect it, but I am very iffy about it. I handed out permission slips in my class. I did not tell of my direct intent, however, and now I beginning to wonder about that.... I will have to double check it.

In the mean time I am trying some new things with my classes. I was inspired when I saw this. http://youtube.com/watch?v=XroJtR9gQc8 I am trying some of the techniques. Right now I am getting mixed results. Today my 4th period seemed to really like it, but then I have other classes where it was referred to as babyish, which I was expecting. I think some of the techniques will not work at the high school level, but some of them definitely have merit.

.....

Well, I did not get the 2 jobs I interviewed for during Christmas break. I was called back for a second interview for the one I really wanted. I thought my chances were good. Every time I have applied for a job I email my resume and my kick ass cover letter, and I go down to the school and give them my portfolio. The woman I interviewed with seemed to be impressed with it. Well I went down there for my second interview, which did not last that long. I know that I did not do anything wrong, but I probably could have done something more. I was told that there 113 applicants and I was second so I should have been very proud of myself... This is the second time I was told that I was the runner up. Both times I was told they picked a more experienced candidate. Now I have a year and a half of experience, and have had 3 sets of new classes. So yes my experience does come up short when comparing a candidate with 10 years or even five years. It was pointed out to me though (by a colleague) that I have a year and half experience with an urban school, and that I should use that my advantage. Well I have another interview next week.

One of the schools that I was the runner up has another opening. I went down there on wed and gave them an updated portfolio. One hour later the Principal's secretary called me to set up an interview. Well I went down there on Friday for my interview, and the principal was not there. It turns out that they had called me at 8:00 that morning to see if it could be rescheduled. Well I didn't get that message. What I am worried about is that he will pick someone over me because he needs to make a decision soon. The secretary said that Tuesday would probably be the day of the interview. So now I have to wait a little bit longer and drive back down there.

If I do not get this job there is a good chance I will have to be at my current school for the remainder of the year... I am tired of the interviews and the constant let downs, among other things but I am more tired of where I work and being depressed all of the time.

well i thought....

I guess I have been fooled. I thought math and science teachers were in demand... I still have not heard back (and yes I know that I was told that a decision would be made on Jan 7th and that they are on Christmas break). No one is jumping through hoops to hire me either. It has not even been 2 days yet, and I climbing the walls. All I am doing is driving myself crazy replaying the interviews in my head. Why can't I just relax?